Idols and Anxiety
October
12, 2014
Happy
Thanksgiving everyone – what a beautiful day, what a wonderful moment we do
indeed have much to be thankful for – unless we don’t – some of us in this
moment may be thinking wait – my life is not a series of blessings in this
time, I am sad, there is illness, I am worried about my husband, sister, son or
granddaughter – I am struggling financially – I am not feeling much of anything
at all. For some this morning –
thanksgiving is a painful word that only draws attention to what others have
and what they do not. There was a wonderful
article is this month’s Observer written by colleague Rev. David Giuliano,
called “THANKSGVING: What does it mean
to be grateful amid suffering”. His article
reminded me that sometimes in our lives counting our blessings comes up in
negative numbers, and sometimes life is difficult and challenging and downright
painful – and when a holiday such as this weekend falls in the midst of our
suffering, it is almost like a slap in the face – so I want to begin this
sermon letting you all know that the thankfulness that is expressed in this
morning’s worship is not to make you feel bad if your life is troubled and
terrible right now – nor is it to make you feel guilty because you are aware
that blessings surround us in the manner of beauty and resources and caring
people and loving friends, and yet do not feel the warmth of the blessing and
some are angry with God for tragedies and pain that they have experienced in their
lives. We are thankful this morning because
of God’s presence with us – not only in the good times but also in the bad, God
presence in the sorrow and in the joy – God’s love in the times of doubt and
times of assurance. We are thankful for God’s
presence in our anxiety – not taking it away but standing with us, in the dark
times, even when we can’t feel it. –
Thankful
is not what the Hebrew people are feeling this morning – more like ungrateful,
unhappy, anxious people unable to feel the presence of God, instead feeling the
absence of God – ever since Moses went up the mountain – the people have been troubled,
and their anxiety has risen and risen.
This is not really unusual behaviour, when our leaders disappear, even
if we know where they are – organizations, communities and individuals become
anxious…
And
when we become anxious we often jump into behaviour unhelpful or otherwise that
tries to bring the situation back to status quo and try to remove the anxiety
and fear as hastily as possible.
Leanne,
a college of mine puts it this way: “Now,
being on this side of the story, and having the whole narrative written out for
us, we know where Moses went (he went up the Mountain), what he was doing there
(he was receiving direction and instruction directly from God), and how long he
was going to be gone (40 days and 40 nights)...but for the Israelites, all they
knew was that their leader, the man who promised them that he was going to
guide them to the promised land, up and disappeared on them, and was gone for
over a month...all while they sat waiting in camp.
And
they waited. And they waited for direction. And they waited for purpose. And
they waited because they did not know what their next step was…They waited and
waited for this life that they had been promised, in the middle of nowhere,
while doing nothing, while going nowhere fast.
And while they waited…..the hope and the purpose that had driven their
exodus out of Egypt began to fade and the memory of the hardship of their past
life started to seem less hard as the reality of their present life anxiety
grew…and still they waited. So they
began to wonder...is Moses ever going to come back? Is what we are living now – better than what
we were living then? Is this life...this
life of sitting and waiting and doing nothing but keeping time...is this life
really better than what we left? Is sitting in this desert waiting for a man to
come down from a mountain is it really better than what we walked away from?
While they waited, they began to look for purpose in their lives. They began to look for direction. They began to look around for something to hold on to, something that would define who they were and what they were about. They sought to assuage their anxiety – to calm their fears, to relieve their concerns –
And so, looking for something tangible that they could recognize as real, they looked back at the only life that they had ever known, the only reality that they could claim made some sense to them, and looked to it for direction and answers. And so they took the remains and the symbols of that life, the earrings that they wore that were a mark of their role as slaves in Egypt, the golden figurines of the Egyptian gods, and used those objects and melted them together to form a golden calf as an object of worship.
They
thought that they were taking control of their lives. They thought that they
were seeking a way to harness their own destiny, a way to direct and define who
they were and who they were going to be.”
They thought that to do this, to do anything would remove their fear and
anxiety and return to them a sense of purpose – and more importantly – control.
There
is nothing so disempowering as making a huge decision to radically change your
life and to discover half way into it that you may have a mistake – that this
was not what you signed on for – or you wish you could take it all back and
return to what you know – That moment – or “oh, my goodness what have we done
or what are we suppose to do?” This is
exactly where the Hebrew people are right now.
We
have all been there- in the midst of an ‘oh my goodness’ moment. Oh my goodness, what can we do – my life is
not what I want it to be – oh my goodness, this road that I am on is harder
than I thought it would be. O my
goodness, my life feels like it is careening out of control- O my goodness…help
– what can I do to relive my anxiety – what can I do to bring some control back
– what can I do to make this fear go away – I don’t like this feeling – what can
I do? ….I can do what I know – I can return
to what I know – even though they may be destructive instead of constructive,
but maybe the anxiety will subside, at least I am doing something!
And
like the Hebrew people, this seems to be a typical reaction of people in the
face of great anxiety and fear...we want to control it...and we are afraid of
what we cannot control so if we take our gold and turn it into cute little
animals, this makes the moment not so frightening – if we take our jewellery
and melt it into a small god, a controllable god, we can make God manageable,
we can make a god that will not abandon us, we can make a god that will do what
we want and take away our fear and anxiety – and we can feel good again…
And
so the Hebrew people bowed down, and worshiped this new god that they had
created, the god of their old lives and their old selves. A god that
represented who they used to be, the god of the past of where they had been,
the god of been there done that, but at least we know what to expect... Probably
for them, for a moment, it felt empowering.
But,
in reality, what they were worshiping was the very opposite of empowering. Yes,
they were worshiping a god that represented who they were and what they had
been...but they were worshiping the symbols of the very thing that they had
escaped from: a life lived in enslavement.
They were worshiping a god of bondage. They held onto and worshiped the
symbols of their slavery because it was what they knew. It gave them definition
and direction, it told them who they were and what they were about, and so they
worshiped that way of life, even though it beat them down and destroyed them...
On
our end of it, we can look at what they did and recognize that in choosing to
worship a way of life that was destructive and life-killing over worshiping a
God that would lead them into a way of life that was life-affirming and
empowering was a poor choice. But, at the same time, we tend to make that
decisions ourselves, time and again.
How
do we unlike the folks of Moses time – not react in our anxiety – how do we not
seek to take the symbols of our past and throw them in a melting pot and create
an idol of them – I think the story of Moses gives us a clue – because while
the Hebrew people are getting more and more anxious, Moses is up the mountain
going deeper into his relationship with God, and this God that Moses is getting
to know, is about trust and hope and life and future – opposite to the god of
gold which is about fear and control and image and anxiety.
Moses has learned that
God is not a distant, vengeful being but is a God who invites involvement and
who invokes love and compassion before condemnation.
· God is a God of
relationships.
·
A God who is prepared to listen as well as to speak.
·
A God who is moved by the plight of people.
·
This is what Moses has learned on the mountain.
· And Moses knows how
short memories can be – as he .
And like the Hebrew
people we too need to be reminded of the goodness of God and of God’s
faithfulness over and over and over especially when our anxiety runs high.
It was strength and
love and an strong relationship that allowed Moses to plead with God to stick
with the Hebrew people and love them back onto the right path no matter how far
they strayed.
We need to remember
that even for Moses, the one so close to God, these are lessons that are not
learned once and for all, these are lessons that are gleaned from relationship
that is nurtured and nurturing.
So we learn about the
nature of God by nurturing our relationship with God.
And, every day, we can
learn a little bit more – sometimes we learn more of the same, for we
constantly need reminding about the nature of God, and God at work in the world
– and sometimes, God reveals new things.
That’s a wonderful
thing – no matter how long we journey with God, still there is more to learn,
still there are more and wonderful facets of God to be revealed. When we remember who we are and whose we are,
we get countless opportunities to nurture our relationship with our Creator.
Today
is thanksgiving – today we give thanks for who we have been, where we are and
where we are going – we give thanks for the journey we are on with our
Creator. Part of the gift of this day or
tomorrow or whenever it is that your family will gather it is a moment steeped
in the past but also as a movement toward the future. I always appreciate the moment my family
takes going around the table sharing what we are thankful for – because every
year it is different and it changes and transform like our journey with God. And every year I am able to find at least one
thing to be thankful for – and so I might add does everyone around the table.
And yes, it’s sometimes it is scary to let go of our
lives as we know them and venture forth on the journey with God – and sometimes
we are required to wait, and wait and wait until the direction becomes clear
and the leadership returns. It takes guts to step out of the box that we have
found ourselves placed in, and to embrace the unknown fullness of life that God
has promised.
So let’s let go of the gods of this world that we have
created and trust that our God who journeys with us through our ups and our
downs, our joys and our sorrows, our hopes and our fears, this God that Moses
met on the mountain top, this God, our God…
May we have the courage to fully
let go of our anxieties, to release our idols and to trust that God is with us,
we are never alone…Thanks be to God. Amen.
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