Breaking
Hearts (Psalm 51)
Lent 5 – March 22/2015
Over 12 years ago now, I was in the midst of the ending
of 15 year marriage. We were living in
Blind River and as the marriage ended it became clear that the congregation I
was serving was dividing, kind of my side / his side scenario – so I
moved. My three teenage sons and I
crossed Lake Huron and moved to a small town in Bruce County. We began again, and for the first little
while as we were busy transitioning into our new home and community things
seemed fine. Then Christmas came and for
the first time as a divided family, and the boys spent time both with myself
and their father separately. After the
boys left the house I realized that I was alone – the house which normally
filled up with the noise and clatter of daily living was quiet and still and
silent. My first reaction was to escape
the void and I hopped in my car and went to Owen Sound and went the first movie
they had playing at the theatre. It was
a romantic comedy with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson called “Somethings Gotta
Give” I thought it would be a safe
choice and I could spend a couple of hours at least wrapped up in another world
so that I would not have to think about my own world. Well, in hindsight, maybe it was not such a
good idea – for in the midst of the movie, just as you begin to like the
characters and see opportunities for them to be in a wonderful relationship –
the other shoe drops and the Jack Nicolson character leave the Diane Keaton
character just after she has fallen completely in love with him. She is a writer and so to work through her
pain she writes a play – so here she is, sitting in her beach house in front of
a computer, typing away – and then crying – not silent tears running down her
face crying – no – big huge weeping and wailing – and the audience love it –
they are laughing so much it is hard to hear the dialogue and every time she
starts to sob and sob and sob the audience laughs and laughs and laughs – and I
sit there and sob along with her. It was
there in that darkened theatre that I realized that my heart was broken – as I
sobbed along with Diane crying for my broken marriage and the sorrow and regret
that come with divorce. Where was God
now?
Create
in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and
do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
Every morning during the week my heart breaks. Erica, my two and a half year old first
morning sentence usually is – they closed
the daycare today. She does not want to
go, and no matter how much Rob and I talk up the daycare – no matter how we try
to divert her attention with breakfast and getting dressed and welcoming the
day – when the time comes for her to get on her coat and boots – she often runs
the other way and says: “stay home with
Daddy” – and as we catch her and carry her to the car it is often in the midst
of screams and protests and struggles to get her in the car seat and buckled
in. The daycare is another moment of
protest where she begins to cry as she walks into room, clinging to my legs
clambering to get up, and crying – so as I wretch her from my arms and hand her
to the day care provider I am normally serenaded with “mommy don’t leave me”. And even though I am assured that she only
cries for a few minutes, and even though when ever we pick her up she is having
a good time and fully engaged in the daycare activities – even though – every
time I leave her it breaks my heart as I walk down the hall listening to my
daughter cry. Where is God now?
Create
in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and
do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
Our hearts break:
· When
someone we love more than ourself gets sick, or dies leaves us or betrays us –
betrayal by a trusted loved one wounds deep.
· Our
hearts break when our children are hurting, or have made poor choices, or get
caught up in activities that scare us – imagine being the parents of a child
who leave to go and fight with ISIS.
· Our
hearts break when something we have depended on be it our work, our government,
or our church let us down, when something we rely on that has been an anchor
for us suddenly or gradually causes us to drift – we become disillusioned.
· Our
hearts break when life does not meet our expectations – I bet you each of us
have had this moment in our lives at one time or another – when what we thought
our lives was about was not when everything became hard and nothing was easy.
· Our
hearts break when we are faced with a chronic painful illness or a cancer
diagnosis or the deep dark hole of depression when it feels like our own body or
our own mind has betrayed us.
· So
anytime we feel like the pins have been knocked out from beneath us and there
is no firm footing to be found – then my friends our hearts break and life as
we know it changes – and we question,
o
how come this is happening to me?
o
what did I do to deserve this?
o
where is God now?
Create
in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and
do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
The people of Jeremiah’s time know only too well the
pain of a broken heart – they are broken hearted over the loss of their
country, their culture, their community and their church. They have been conquered by the Babylonians
and life as they once knew it has ceased to be – their temple - the centre
piece of their culture and community has been knocked over razed to the
ground. Their king has been led away in
chains – and where is God now?
Create
in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and
do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
When David was king of the Land of Judah and Israel and
most people felt like it and everything
was good and all was going well and God was present and pleased– one day as
David surveyed his kingdom from the top of his castle – he spied a woman on the
next roof having a bath – and instead of turning away and giving her privacy he
watched and lusted and trampled over every marriage vow he had made with is
queen and she had made with her husband – Burak – the general in David’s army –
where was God now?
Your
faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah[1]
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah[1]
And next thing you know David began to plot about how
to make this wrong right – and with some sort of twisted logic and egocentric
thinking David sent his General out to fight the battle insisting that the General
be at the head of the army – and as anyone could have predicted the General was
killed in battle and now Bathsheba, the
roof bather – General Baruk’s wife was free to be with King David. Where was God now?
Create
in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and
do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
One day Nathan, the King’s Prophet seeks an audience
with David and while in the throne room Nathan tells this story:
Once
there was a man who had one sheep that he loved dearly, he cared for it
faithfully and even let it sleep in the house with his children. Next door to this man lives a wealthier man
who had many sheep. One day the
wealthier man had a visitor and planned a great feast in order to honour his
visitor. He sent his servants next door
to the poorer man and demanded his sheep, which he slaughtered and fed to the
guest.
As King David listened to the story he became enraged
and when Nathan finished talking he demanded that the wealthier man restore the
sheep to the poorer man – and Nathan said – “you are that man” and David heard
the truth of his words – and he withdrew and he began to pray and this is what
he prayed –
Create
in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and
do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
Psalm 51 is David’s prayer set into these circumstances
of broken hearts and broken trust – of broken people and a God that was there
even in brokenness. God was there offering
hope to the David and Bathsheba and all the broken people. God offers promise
and presence and faithfulness to the people.
God offering yet another covenant promise into our broken lives, into
our broken hearts.
Create
in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and
do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
God forgives, and restores and God has written on our
hearts – reminding us that we are God’s people – no matter what we do, no
matter what situation we are living in – no matter how broken our hearts
are: God is there, God has written into
our hearts. This is the new covenant –
that we will be God’s people and God will be our God, in live and death, in brokenness
and fear – God is with us – we are never alone…thanks be to God – Amen.
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